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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097547">KidLaw Ficbits</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soultronica/pseuds/soultronica'>soultronica</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hanahaki Disease, Landscaper/Crematorium AU, M/M, Meet-Cute, Multimedia, NTR if you squint, Open Relationships, Plastic Surgeon AU, Post-Divorce, Rimming, Social Media, Suez Canal / Ever Given AU, Threesome - M/M/M, Yokais</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:00:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soultronica/pseuds/soultronica</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of KidLaw ficlets</p><p>1. Bodycount shenanigans (includes Kid/Law/Killer)<br/>2. Hanahaki AU<br/>3. Landscaper/Crematorium AU<br/>4. Plastic surgeon AU<br/>5. Post-divorce (platonic)<br/>6. Yokai AU<br/>7. Suez Canal AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eustass Kid/Killer/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Eustass Kid/Trafalgar D. Water Law</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1. Body count shenanigans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kid and Law argue about who's fucked the most of their fellow Supernovae.<br/>Contains: open relationship, explicit Kid/Law/Killer threesome, vague ntr, general silliness, mentions of past sex involving: Drake, Hawkins, Bonney, Luffy, Zoro, Killer</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kid and Law's post-sex routine goes like this: Law finishes bleeding Kid's cock dry for the xxth time, Kid feels happy and sated, and then Law opens his mouth to say something that Kid already knows he's going to roll his eyes at.</p><p>Today, it's smug. "Remember your theory that the Supernovae's bounties should be based on our, I quote, "fucking prowess"? Looks like I'm more expensive than you."</p><p>Kid swats him on the thigh but he doesn't protest, not when Law is stretching his long body around his own, as he does when he's getting ready to sleep. Tonight he settles in the crook of Kid's shoulder, far enough up Kid's one arm that he can manhandle it back around his own shoulders.</p><p>"I'm not opposed to the idea, mind," Law yawns.</p><p>"Hmm, it's not like they can send someone to fuck all 11 of us to judge. Hah, I'd volunteer for that. I'm well underway too."</p><p>"I'm sure I have a head-start."</p><p>"Trafalgar, you do not."</p><p>Law raises his head from Kid's shoulder and un-frowns his brow a little, which on him is the equivalent of an eyebrow raise. He's so beautiful without that hat covering half his face. "Let's hear it, then. How many?"</p><p>"F-", Kid starts to preen, and stops. "Uh. Fi- actually -"</p><p>"So, five but you're embarrassed about one of them," Law smirks.</p><p>Kid sometimes wonders if that devil fruit of his allows him to see the thoughts inside his mind as well, but he does want to win this so he admits to the higher number. "Yeah, five," he mutters.</p><p>"Let's see - me, Killer-ya, Bonney-ya... Hawkins.... And... Ha, Apoo is the one you're embarrassed about? I would be too."</p><p>"How the fuck--"</p><p>"And I'm afraid I do have a headstart."</p><p>Kid refuses to believe this. "No you don't! How many?"</p><p>"Hmm, six."</p><p>"What - you're such a fucking liar! I can't believe the government does business with liars like you, who lie, do they know you're such a fucking liar?"</p><p>Law seems uninterested in defending himself, though, judging from the way he just closes his eyes and tucks his head inside Kid's shoulder to sleep, so Kid lowers his protesting to a mumble. After a bit of that Law opens his eyes again to glare at him so Kid has to cut that out entirely and continues ranting in his head until he falls asleep as well.</p><p>Except the next day he's still thinking about it. He wakes up with half of his muscles hurting from being slept on but no Trafalgar in his arms, which is typical, and his mind still stuck on that conversation.</p><p>It's not really an ego thing. It's just that Kid has a <i>reputation</i>, one that he's constantly leaning into, and it's really embarrassing to think that all this time every single person he's ever bragged to about his high-profile conquests might have known that his pirate rival-slash-boyfriend apparently gets around more than he does. Ok maybe it's a bit of an ego thing.</p><p>Law reappears some time around lunch — who the fuck even knows where he goes when he's hiding away on Kid's ship — so Kid hands him a couple of onigiri he'd brought from the kitchen and starts the questioning.</p><p>"So I'm not saying I believe you fuck more than me, but hypothetically — right, so. Hawkins is surprisingly easy so probably him, yeah?"</p><p>Law is extremely amused, making even more of a mess of eating his onigiri when he's smiling around it, but at least it's cute. He tilts his head as if to say "go on." </p><p>Kid continues, "Yeah no, I'm all out of guesses after that. I refuse to think about you playing sugar baby to one of the older guys, Drake guards his ass like a virgin temple, Ap-"</p><p>Law outright bursts out laughing at that. "Wait, wait, wait. Sugar baby? Drake?"</p><p>Kid is a mix of doubtful and apprehensive. "I mean, you didn't, right? Urouge is... Really big, I mean the logistics of that..."</p><p>"I'm not answering that, but say that again about Drake being a virgin temple?"</p><p>Which means that Kid is back to frowning. "So now I gotta believe you're a pirate playboy stealing the virtues of the maidens of the four seas? Like, you know that's my thing right?"</p><p>"He didn't seem that opposed to having his cock sucked. Your problem, Eustass-ya, is that you flirt all dominant-like and anyone who doesn't want a cock up his ass is understandably scared by that." </p><p>"I'm a switch!" Kid yells.</p><p>"Then act like it," Law shrugs, which is the end of that.</p><p>"Fine, ok, anyone else you snatched from the fucking cradle? You're going to tell me you seduced Strawhat as well while you were with them? Is that even legal? Should they add that to your bounty? Maybe you fucked his first mate while you were at it too?"</p><p>Law looks at his nails. "Well, you're right to remember that the Supernova list does indeed include a couple first mates, because I did fuck one..."</p><p>Kid stops short. Law stares back at him.</p><p>"What. Are you implying," Kid enunciates very slowly.</p><p>"I don't know, what do you think I'm implying Eustass-ya?"</p><p>Kid's already out the door yelling Killer's name before he finishes that sentence.</p><p>Killer is of course in the weights room, doing reps with Heat, but everyone on this ship is used to chaos anyway so Kid grabs Killer by his sweaty shirt and immediately starts yelling in his face. "Did you fuck Law without telling me you asshole!!"</p><p>Killer's mask stares at him long-sufferingly. He wrestles Kid's hand off his shirt with a sigh and starts mopping himself up with the towel around his neck. "Right. One thing at a time. First, no I did not, but I see you don't look inclined to believe me right now. Second, why does it matter?"</p><p>"Fuck you mean, why does it matter!" Kid continues yelling.</p><p>"Do you, uh... Consider us to be together? Because..."</p><p>"What! No, I'm together with Law, I think?" </p><p>The deadpan energy emitting from Killer's mask at that makes Kid a bit uncomfortable. Kid sees Heat giving him an encouraging thumbs up from the corner of his eye.</p><p>"Then it's him you need to take this up with, yeah? Not that I got the impression you guys were exclusive, but-"</p><p>"Nonono, Law can do what he wants, but <i>you</i>.... Argh," Kid knows he's being unreasonable with this but he can't help it. "Look man, you're my mate - first? best? Anyway, we're supposed to tell each other when we wanna try each other's things, if only so we can tag-team them--"</p><p>At which point he feels Killer going very, very still.</p>
<hr/><p><i>That</i> ends the way this entire thing was always going to end in retrospect: the two of them back in Kid's room, Killer still in his sweaty gym clothes but mask off, Law completely naked on his back on Kid's bed, and Killer's cock deep inside him. </p><p>Law's enjoying this... A lot, judging by the show he's putting on. He's moaning like he's never been fucked in his life, his ankles crossed around Killer's lower back urging him on with every thrust, his spine arched, grabbing Killer's head down to kiss him messily every chance he gets. It's so fucking hot.</p><p>Killer quickly gets tired of kissing in favour of planting his hands around Law's skinny hips and watching his cock go in and out of Law's hole, which, yeah, it does look a bit cock-obsessed from this angle, maybe Kid needs to stop doing that too. Law turns his head in Kid's direction in that moment, reaching for him, and Kid whines at the pure lust written on his face. His pupils are blown so wide - it's pretty obvious at this point to Kid that Law's the kind of guy they make this weirdly specific "My Wife Is Having Sex With My Best Friend Who Is Staying At My House" porn for.</p><p>He squeezes Law's reaching hand and moves closer to feed Law his cock with his other hand. Law swallows it greedily, not even making any kind of proper movement, just trying to swallow it as far down as it can go. Kid helps him by fucking his mouth as soon as he feels Law's mouth go slack enough. And then he grabs Killer by the neck and slows him down enough for some tongue action - because fuck, Kid likes kissing too.</p><p>Killer comes first, deep inside Law's ass, at which point Kid feels like he's allowed to pull away from Law's throat and finish on Law's face. And then Law is left to take care of himself with cum both on his face and leaking from his ass, which also looks like a turn-on for him, because after a few pumps from his own hand he finally convulses as hard as Kid's ever seen. </p><p>Killer looks like his mind has been blown, which sounds about right. While he gathers his breathing, still staring at Law's tattoo-and-cum-covered body, Kid goes to find a washcloth to clean Law up. </p><p>Once he's done and Law's all clean, Law turns his head towards him. He looks happily wrecked, but also the most smug he's ever been. "So. That's 7 now," he says breathily, and Kid fucking throws the cloth at the wall this time.</p><p>Killer doesn't stay to cuddle with them, because he's stingy, and possibly also still wary of leading Kid on, but Law is especially soft at the moment so Kid doesn't mind. He's all limp as he sits cross-legged rolling a cigarette on his thigh, leaning towards Kid, and his head keeps lolling on Kid's shoulder without realizing it. </p><p>Never one to pass up on an opening, Kid puts his head in Law's lap and steals the cigarette on the way down. He attracts his metal lighter to his hand without thinking, lights it and takes the first drag. The smoke fills his lungs - he exhales it up in Law's face.</p><p>"Yeah, I give up. Give me the full list," he says, trying to remember the full count. "Me, Hawkins, Drake, presumably Roronoa... Killer..."</p><p>"Hmmm... Bonney-ya..." Law smirks around the cigarette he's stolen back and Kid's brain finally, finally short-circuits. </p><p>It feels like it takes ten good minutes for his neurons to kick-start again and rearrange themselves around this new information.</p><p>"Yeah, clearly you still had some misconceptions about me," Law's voice is so so amused, "This is the funniest possible way for you to find out by the way."</p><p>Kid groans and turns to hug Law's stomach, burying his head in it.</p><p>"... And you were right, Strawhat-ya did ask me to take his virginity," Law finishes, still smoking. Kid simply gives up and groans harder.</p><p>"Fine. I wanna be you when I grow up," Kid whines and Law can't stop laughing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Next one is Hanahaki AU</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2. Hanahaki AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"HanaHaki" (Flower-Coughing) is a trope originating in East Asian media in which a person suffering from unrequited love will start coughing up flowers until either their love is reciprocated or they die. The only other way to cure it is by having a medical operation which also removes the afflicted person's feelings and/or memories of their loved one.</p><p>I'm just trying to see what ~highkey romantic~ looks like on them.<br/>Contains: fictional illness, open relationship, romance</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Law's not quite sure what's happening at first — one moment he's locked in his medical bay reading an article about Kid's new alliance in the papers, the next he's choking on something at the back of his throat.</p><p>Some fairly violent coughing later, he feels the thing dislodging from his throat and he spits it out - a pair of flower petals, oval-shaped. Bright red. Tulips, at a glance, of all things. He stops to stare incredulously.</p><p>"Fuck me," he mutters.</p><p>He of course proceeds to do the most sensible thing, which is to immediately operate on himself. A quick search through his books reveals a fairly standard procedure, a quick Scan finds a very localized infection in his lungs — much easier than extracting lead from all his vital organs — and, sparing one last thought for Kid, he lays his scalpels in a neat row and sets to work.</p><p>Except when he's done, and all throughout the next day's monitoring, he doesn't really feel any different. He's not about to start naming feelings, but he doesn't feel like his perception of Kid has altered much. He pushes this aside, until a couple days later some Grand Line gossip rag makes its way to his desk and he's back to coughing blood-red petals.</p><p>So he does the next most sensible thing, which is to order a massive backlog of the Grand Line medical journal by carrier seagull in order to find who the leading experts on Hanahaki are and beg one of them for a consultation.</p><p>Said expert - a Doctor Kureha from the kingdom of Drum, on the Grand Line - refuses to talk to him on the den-den mushi, insisting that patients need to be dragged for in-person consulting, kicking and screaming if need be. Law has to relinquish his anonymity for her to agree to a long-distance call, revealing himself to be a fellow doctor needing help with <i>an anonymous patient</i>.</p><p>"Not to doubt you, love, but this patient of yours has had no change at all in their symptoms since the operation?" she questions him doubtfully.</p><p>"Right," Law says.</p><p>"I'm at a loss, darling, I really am. Assuming you performed the operation correctly, of course, but far be it from me to question <i>The Surgeon of Death</i>. How long was it between the beginning of the infection and the operation?"</p><p>"I'm not sure, the patient presented symptoms once."</p><p>"... Oh, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. You're an awful doctor, of course, truly terrible, but this is brilliant, I've always wondered..."</p><p>"I beg your pardon," Law grits out.</p><p>"Oh come on, love, you operated on a patient that presented symptoms <i>once</i>?"</p><p>"My patient was very sure they wanted the operation," he replies slowly, clipping every word.</p><p>"Your patient is an outlier, then. There's a reason people die from this, love, which is that the symptoms are so overwhelming and so personal — think clinical depression — that they tend to define themselves by it, and it takes a while for a physician to make them understand that healing is an option. Three to four consultations over several weeks is usually the standard."</p><p>"Great, but I'm a surgeon and I'm not about to make them wait for the look of things,"  Law replies, coming close to using up all the politeness he can muster at any given time. </p><p>"It's not about gatekeeping," the doctor continues over him, "Like I said, patients interiorize their feelings even when said feelings are symptoms that are slowly killing them. This also means they tend to dismiss the easy recovery option out of hand, which is of course having their romantic attachment reciprocated." </p><p>"And if that's not an option?" </p><p>She sighs. "Don't make me repeat myself, darling, the point is it's always more of an option than the patient thinks, but in any case you're stuck waiting. What I suspect, and have for a while, is that the infection does not start in the lungs but is carried in the bloodstream before it really sets in, which would make a pulmonary operation before that time-frame useless, which of course has been impossible to confirm — no reason to get blood work done before an infection is suspected and of course no decent doctor operates early enough to make that a potential problem — until now of course, which is very helpful, truly fascinating stuff, I'll make sure to cite you when I write that article."</p><p>"... Thanks", Law replies, very much ready to end this conversation now.</p><p>"So! Since you have to wait, and do update me when you think the infection has set in because a time-frame estimate would be <i>so</i> helpful - I recommend <i>your patient</i> uses that time to get that stick out his ass and considers the possibility of reciprocation, yeah? At least send him off to see the lucky person and see if they can work something out like proper adults instead of edgy pirates scared of being in love?"</p><p>Law hangs up pretty quickly after that.</p><p>--</p><p>The thing is, Law's not scared of being in love. He's been in love most of his life and he's got the tattoos to show it.</p><p>But he saw his devotion to the end already, and now he finds himself adrift, somewhere down the wake of Strawhat Luffy's trajectory, half hanging on Eustass Kid's arm. He's probably still the kingmaker he was moulded to be, but he's not very sure for whom.</p><p>In the end he decides to follow Kureha's advice and go see Kid. He's not sure what he wants out of it, but he can always think more clearly after getting laid and he figures that if anything, exposure to the endocrine disruptor will at least help the infection set in and let him operate sooner.</p><p>As usual he doesn't even have to call Kid to ask where he is, because Kid is the least stealthy pirate on the Grand Line and when Law goes to the communication room to check on the marine feeds Penguin's tapped there's at least three different scouting ships with a location on him. </p><p>By the time Bepo gets the submarine there there's even a warship, presumably captained by an idiot, who's decided to make use of that permanently available intel and engage fire. </p><p>He promises his crew a board game night in exchange for letting him have his little afternoon on Kid's ship. He knows by the way Kid's already grinning in his face once Law Rooms himself next to him that he'd sensed Law coming from a mile away.</p><p>"Well look who decided to join us for this little party!" he grins wildly, sending a metal pole in two marines' faces without even looking. </p><p>"I can come back later if you're already entertaining," Law smirks back.</p><p>"Nah I wanna see you remove the bones from inside a guy's body like you said you could 'cause I still don't believe you," Kid taunts back which is of course Law's cue to do exactly that, engulfing the nearest marine in his Room and extracting all twenty-seven bones from his hand then slapping him in the face with it. Kid and half of his crew almost start pissing themselves laughing. </p><p>Kid follows that up by hurling a marine's steel sword into Law's Room so that Law can portal it into another marine's back on the other end of the Room, which is one of those things they'd discussed while nerding out after sex. Right now everything feels kind of perfect.</p><p>It's less perfect after the battle when Law makes his way down to Kid's quarters first, since Kid needs to sort out some headcount thing, and the room still reeks of sex, the sheets clearly... used. And it shouldn't matter, and it doesn't in itself, but all Law can think of is how Kid is on his way to become Pirate King, and it'll be someone else at his side, and he feels the petals clogging up his throat and he starts gasping for air. He manages to extend his Room and teleport himself out of there before he starts throwing up the red petals all over the floor of Kid's room.</p><p>--</p><p>Law is used to following up tactical retreats with further strategising for a counter-attack, but he's completely at a loss as to what he even wants to do here, and worse - he wants to ask Kid for help.</p><p>So he tries again. Rather than making his way back to Kid's ship and embarrassing himself again he figures he'll have better luck with some distance between them, so he goes to look for the den-den they use to call each other in his mess of a room.</p><p>Kid picks up quickly, like he was expecting Law to call, which is encouraging.</p><p>"So. You gonna tell me what's all this about? Not a fan of the hot and cold bullshit, by the way."</p><p>Law has no idea how to approach any of this, so what comes out is, "Yeah, so, I, I'm going to need you to stop fucking other people, Eustass-ya."</p><p>Well. At least now he's not the only one in this conversation who's absolutely lost his footing, he can tell from the incredulous silence that Kid is completely flummoxed.</p><p>"I?? Are you?? Saying we should get married??"</p><p>"What?? What the fuck kind of conclusion-- are you fucking kidding me-- the absolute state of-- you fucking idiot!!" Once his voice reaches a pitch so high it borders on supersonic Law concludes by hanging up in Kid's face.</p><p>That went well.</p><p>Law calls again ten minutes later, because what the fuck else can he do. Kid picks up but does not say anything, letting the murderous expression reflected on the tiny snail's face speak for itself.</p><p>"... I have hanahaki disease," Law says, and this time it's Kid's turn to hang up in a panic.</p><p>--</p><p>Law spends the next five hours hacking his lungs out. Petal after petal burst out of his mouth in piles of sticky red, stained an even darker red with blood. </p><p>At least, he figures, face wet from the saliva and the tears of pain from the coughs racking his body, the infection has definitely set in, and he'll be ready to operate on himself as soon as the symptoms have calmed enough that his hands are steady. He hopes he'll get enough closure from Kid for that to happen soon, because he's not ready to have to ask his crew to take him to Drum half-suffocating so that Kureha can do the operation in his stead.</p><p>He's thinking about Cora-san, and what the hell he's going to do with the rest of his life, when the den-den finally rings again.</p><p>He picks up with a rasp but does not answer when Kid mutters "All right?" in a worried tone, figuring he'll take it as his cue to say what he's going to say. Kid does eventually.</p><p>"Okay, so. Yeah," he starts. "Listen, it just never occurred to me because I figured you weren't the giving type. But I've been thinking it over and I think maybe I was wrong about that. And if you are, I definitely am, yeah? So."</p><p>Law holds his breath, throat raw, until Kid continues.</p><p>"Make me Pirate King, Law - and you'll have all of me. All of me."</p><p>Law already knows what his answer will be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ps they do totally get hitched in the end and nobody ever believes them</p><p>Thank you for reading! Next one will be landscaper/crematorium AU</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3. Landscaper/Crematorium AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Contains: meet-cute, landscaper/crematorium au, arson/death jokes, US setting</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If someone reads this from the future: this general AU was inspired by the US president mistakenly booking a landscaper's parking lot between a sex shop and a crematorium for a press conference in Nov 2020. I took it as an AU idea because I'm basic like that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kid wasn't sure when he first met Law but he knew when he first became aware of him. It was his admin day at his landscaping business and he was on his fifth smoke-and-coffee break — a regular customer was being a pain in the ass about settling his account and Kid was going mental chasing invoices —, sitting on the ground against the stone ledge outside the shop's front door because Killer refused to let him smoke inside. The cold from the hard ledge at his back was seeping through his denim vest and he felt like the October wind was going to knock the paper cup coffee he'd placed on the ground next to his feet any time, but the smoke in his lungs felt warm before he blew it into the white sky. </p><p>He looked up and found that someone was doing the exact same thing across the street. Dark hair, dark clothes, sat on the ground with his legs bent in front of him, shoulders hunched. Like Kid he looked like the material of his hoodie was too flimsy to keep him comfortable in the wind but he was determined not to run inside to fetch his jacket. It didn't stop him from having his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing tattoos that ran along the forearms perched on his knees, all the way to his fingers holding a cigarette in one hand and a mug by the rim in the other.</p><p>Presumably he worked at the business of front of which he was seated, which was a crematorium. Kid and his crew had dubbed them the Corpse Fuckers, due to some private joke that Kid couldn't even recall the origin of anymore. This guy didn't look like he <i>didn't</i> fuck corpses though, with his mean junkie look. In a good way.</p><p>The guy looked like he'd been watching Kid from across the street for a while, so Kid gave him a chin tilt, to which he got no response. Kid shrugged and went back to finishing his cigarette in silence, looking up at the gloomy sky. He did glance back across when he sensed the other get up to go, putting out his smoke on the concrete next to him and throwing the end in his mug. As he unfolded himself, Kid couldn't help but notice that his legs were even longer than he'd thought, and that the tattoos decorated a skinny frame. Somehow instead of looking lame the combination gave him a lean and dangerous air, like he'd shank you at a gas station at 4am for 20 bucks, which Kid instantly liked. Maybe he didn't have room to talk on the corpse fucking, he reflected around his cigarette.</p><p>It happened again the next week. Kid had made himself a coffee on Heat's fancy machine and headed out to drink it outside again. He did like his sitting-on-the-ground-in-silence time at this point, it felt like it added another day to the countdown to his inevitable invoice-related rampage. When he glanced across the street, however, he found that some people were clearly having a worse day than he was. The hot corpse fucker was there again, and even from several feet away he looked homicidal. This time he was sat on his own ledge, his legs fidgeting wildly in front of him, and he'd brought with him an ashtray which looked very full. When Kid stepped out, his eyes went straight for the tiny paper cup Kid was carrying, and by the time Kid had sat himself down against his stone ledge like he was used to, the guy was power-walking across the street straight in Kid's direction.</p><p>He stopped in front of Kid and looked down at him. "Is that. An espresso," he clipped out in a voice that sounded both murderous and exhausted. </p><p>Kid raised his brow and held out the paper cup silently. From this distance he could see deep circled eyes, messy facial hair. The guy's tattoos included spiky patterns running up his forearms, and — whoa — the word "DEATH" tattooed across both sets of knuckles. Definitely mental. The tattooed knuckles gripped the paper cup tightly as he gulped the coffee down in one go, before silently shooting his arm back in Kid's direction once he was done. </p><p>"Thanks," he only said as Kid took the paper cup back from him, and power-walked back across the street, presumably to murder someone. Kid honestly felt a bit smitten.</p><p>--</p><p>After that, Kid couldn't help but look for him. He found his opening when he was pulling up the street back to the shop to park the truck and put away the landscaping equipment after his regular Tuesday maintenance gig at the local hotel. Before he turned left into their driveway, he looked right and saw that the guy was seated outside the crematorium again. He quickly went to park, left the gear in his truck bed and ran inside through the back door to make two coffees, ignoring that he probably smelled strongly of the cut grass staining his white henley, and also that Killer had threatened to use the chainsaw on him if he had to go look for the good mower in Kid's truck one more time.</p><p>Fortunately, the coast was clear and the guy was still outside by the time Kid was back out the front door. He grinned to himself and made his way across the street.</p><p>"Here, apparently you like coffee," he said holding out one of the cups towards the guy. "I'm Kid," he added when he saw that the guy was just staring at his shirt.</p><p>"Law," the guy finally answered, gesturing vaguely towards himself, and took the proffered cup. Kid took that as invitation enough to sit on the pavement next to him.</p><p>Law looked like he was grateful for the coffee, at least. "You guys have an espresso machine?" he asked.</p><p>Kid nodded, "Yeah it's really fancy and shit. One of my guys, Heat, he used to work at a Starbucks but it burned down and he got the machine out of it somehow."</p><p>Law's eyebrows were raised. "This guy is named "Heat"... and his place of employment burned down?"</p><p>Kid sipped his coffee. Law continued, "Also, you're talking about the Starbucks on State Road? It burning down is the reason I can't get a proper caffeine fix in the morning anymore, all I get is shitty warmed up coffee I have to bring from home."</p><p>"Well now it's just across the street and it's free so it's even more convenient. Heat can even make you the cool stuff with the milk and the syrups when he's in."</p><p>"Hmm," Law replied. "Honestly we should just get our own espresso machine but my co-partner won't let me take it out the budget. Says 1000 dollars for a decent one is ridiculous. Like we don't sell coffins for that price. And people don't need those to live."</p><p>"Hah! Can't blame people for wanting to dress up fancy to meet Jesus. Or do you? You looked like you were ready to create your own demand the other day."</p><p>"Urgh, yeah. <i>Customers</i>."</p><p>"Tell me about it," Kid sighed into his coffee.</p><p>"Like, apparently my manner is bad or whatever so I stay more on the technical side of, you know," he said, making a vague hand gesture that presumably meant "incineration". "That's what I trained for anyway. But sometimes the family drama is so bad that it spills over into the workshop and like, who gives a shit if the urn has just the guy's original surname or his hyphenated surname from his second marriage, not fucking me."</p><p>"You need to make bingo cards for this shit. We have one with, like, <i>Customer thinks we should do the maintenance for free or it's poor customer service</i>, <i>Customer has seen too much Desperate Housewives and is hitting on our guys hardcore</i>, and in the middle it's just <i>Kid loses his shit on customer</i>. If we hit a bingo we buy donuts."</p><p>By the end of that Law had un-frowned his face, which Kid counted as a victory. Not that Kid didn't find the resting bitch face hot, but getting past it felt all the more satisfying.</p><p>"I'll bring it up with my co-partner," Law said. "It'll be less satisfying than scorching the ones with bullshit, drama-inducing wills extra hot but probably more ethical or whatever."</p><p>Kid grinned. "Yup! And in the meantime feel free to knock for coffee, especially when you see the red truck with the custom paint in the parking," he said, nodding in the direction of his truck, hoping Law noticed the sick skulls.</p><p>He stood up and took a step forward, trying to gauge whether he felt Law's eyes on his ass. He felt like he did. With a final nod to Law he headed back across the street. </p><p>Inside the shop Killer was back in the office and all ready to interrogate him. "You're hanging out with the corpse fuckers now?" he asked slightly judgmentally.</p><p>"Oh yeah, we're not calling them that anymore," Kid replied.</p><p>Killer levelled him with a very unimpressed look. "... Because one of them is hot?"</p><p>Kid nodded. "Because one of them is hot," he confirmed.</p><p>Killer started laughing at him but Kid liked Killer's laugh so he didn't mind. "Okay, corpse fucker-fucker," was Killer's last pronouncement.</p><p>--</p><p>Kid managed to schedule an office shift for Heat the next Friday. When it came, he went straight to the crematorium to make good on the invitation. Their parking was full, with extra cars parked along the street, but whatever.</p><p>Once inside he was greeted by a bear in a suit seated at the reception desk.</p><p>"I'm sorry for your loss," the bear said meekly. "The service has already begun upstairs."</p><p>"Oh nah I'm not here for a... booking," Kid said. "I'm from across the street. Is Law in?"</p><p>"Sorry," the bear said even more meekly. "I'll go get him."</p><p>When Law came out... He was wearing a suit. A really nice, tightly tailored one that screamed money, and elevated the <i>don't fuck with me vibes</i> to a new stunning high. The shirt was starched and tight across the skinny chest, the shoes a matte polish, the earrings stood out even more. His hands were in his pockets and the scowl firmly in place. Kid felt his mouth go completely dry.</p><p>"Nice of you to barge in but we're having a service," Law drawled from somewhere above Kid's line of sight.</p><p>"Cool. Sorry for their loss," Kid replied to the outline of tattoo he could see faintly through Law's white shirt.</p><p>"So did you want anything?" Law asked.</p><p>"Uh," Kid attempted to rally himself. He struggled to find something to say that wasn't <i>Please let me fuck you. I'd do anything.</i></p><p>He finally landed on, "Did you want to have, like... a cappuccino?"</p><p>Law turned to the bear, who shrugged. It seemed to be all the permission Law needed. "Yeah, what the hell. Penguin and Shachi are handling it fine without me, and they don't scare the children. Lead the way."</p><p>Kid tried not to saunter on their way back to the office, teasing Law all the while about looking like he had a pig farm he fed underlings to. Law even got the reference.</p><p>Heat seemed just as enthused to see Law when they made their way past the rickety transparent door. "Oh hey you're from the corps- from the crematorium! What a cool, cool job you have, man."</p><p>Law raised an eyebrow. "And you look like the stereotype of a barista, so I'm guessing you're Heat, the guy who definitely didn't burn down the Starbucks."</p><p>"Haha, yeah..." Heat said while turning towards the coffee machine that was the only shiny thing in their off-white barebones office. He let Law bitch at him about how hard it was to find a coffeeshop who didn't make him a small latte when he ordered a flat white, while he made him something with an Italian name.</p><p>Kid joined Killer at the trestle table, from where he'd been watching silently all this time. Kid gave him the <i>come on and be a good wingman</i> knee judge.</p><p>Killer addressed Law, "Hey you ever watch Snatch? Because..."</p><p>"Yes I got the pig farm joke from Kid already, thanks," Law replied as he sat at the table with them with his coffee.</p><p>"Yeah Kid's funny like that," Killer laughed a bit too enthusiastically, but Law didn't comment which was a point in his favour.</p><p>"My team's more into Reservoir Dogs so that's what I get from them. I think them wanting to take "gangster selfies" in our suits is most of the reason I have to do the services with them because the families definitely don't like me there."</p><p>"Oh hey we would've tried to make friends earlier if we'd known you guys were nerds!" Kid said. "We can play GTA together or something."</p><p>"Yeah or we can come watch when you cremate the bodies!" Heat piped in from where he was re-arranging the milk inside the mini-fridge.</p><p>Law smoothly ignored that but he did notice the big Dunkin box on top of the fridge.</p><p>"You guys got donuts? Did you hit a bingo?" he asked.</p><p>"Yeah Kid finally went round to this one guy threatening to rip out his palm trees if he didn't pay us. In his defence it worked," Killer replied.</p><p>"Three weeks I've been chasing this fucking invoice!! Also planting those palm trees was hell but no one around here wants to hear about how climate and soil fucking works," Kid fired himself up for the usual rant.</p><p>As he followed this up with colourful theories about the level of inbreeding in their customer base, Kid couldn't help but notice every tremor of Law's lips, every twitch of his tattooed knuckles, every softening of his eyes, every movement of his chest. </p><p>--</p><p>"... Is he that hot?" Killer asked once Law had left.</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"You looked like you were about to get on your knees and beg for a crumb of that ass, man."</p><p>Kid hummed noncommittally at that.</p><p>"... Remind me to ask Bonney to give you the how-to-tell-you're-a-submissive talk, yeah?"</p><p>"If you ask me he's more Eastern Promises than Snatch," Heat joined in before Kid could reply to that, "Like, he looks like a proper criminal. You sure about this, man?"</p><p>Even Killer took offense at that. "Not from you, Heat."</p><p>"How about you guys help me figure out how I can ask him out instead of judging me, yeah?" Kid cut in.</p><p>"I suppose you could've taken him to the Starbucks if Heat- if it hadn't burned down," Killer mused. "Probably some nicer coffeeshops in town anyway."</p><p>"That's kinda... Tinder?"</p><p>"Then go fuck in a Walmart changing room if you want something more Grindr." </p><p>"I really don't know why I bother with you guys," Kid despaired.</p><p>In the end Kid did wind up going to Bonney's the next day because Killer said he'd seen Law there a couple times.</p><p>Her sex shop was two doors down on the same street, and looked seedy as hell, yet was always full. Maybe it had something to do with the way she liked to hang out on the stone steps with her "Adult Bookstore!! DVDs - Viewing Booths - Lotion" corporate T-shirt on and absolutely no shame. Today however Kid found her behind her counter, made of a dildo display case, eating a bag of chips. Her hair was styled with the usual combination of Hello Kitty hair-clips and Bardot hairstyle that made it impossible to tell whether she was 15 or 45. She shouted out at Kid when she saw him come in.</p><p>"Kid! Killer says you need me to tell you about the birds and the bees and the praying mantises?"</p><p>"What? I just need to ask a guy out. Apparently you know him."</p><p>Bonney sighed. "Right, Law. He's a customer but I'm not about to break confidentiality to tell you what he's into! But you can use the backroom for your date if you want. You know we have viewing booths. I can tell you which ones have a glory hole."</p><p>Kid blanched. "I was more angling for, like. If you knew his hobbies or whatever."</p><p>"I don't know, corpse fucking? Fuck should I know what morticians are into? Oh, wait. When he's stressed out he likes to go outside and watch the beefcake coming in and out of your shop, I know 'cause I do it too. So you can just take him to a place where you can take your shirt off."</p><p>"Obviously that's what I'm going to be trying to do, I'm just trying to sort out the <i>before</i>. So that it actually happens."</p><p>Bonney waved him off. "Kid, you're hot, you've got this. Killer could've told you that."</p><p>"Yeah and better than you too."</p><p>"Yeah I don’t know why you bothered to come here either, but go get him.. And I'll just give you a tiny hint: wear your lipstick," she winked at him.</p><p>Somehow this was encouraging. Kid steeled himself and went straight to the crematorium. He had some time before he'd be considered late at this morning's scheduled job anyway.</p><p>This time the bear went straight to get Law when he saw Kid come in. Law came out the door behind the reception desk with his eyebrow raised in question. He was back in the hoodie, tattoos out. His hair was all tousled.</p><p>Kid cleared his throat. "Yeah, so. Do you want to come to the quays with me after work? You can bring your shitty warmed-up coffee from home and we can drink it in the truck bed."</p><p>Law actually, finally smiled. "Sure," he said.</p><p>And then, bending over the reception desk, he gave Kid a kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Next one will be divorced AU (non-romantic)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4. Plastic surgeon AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kid goes to get his nose un-fucked after a bad bar fight and finds his surgeon is hot.</p><p>Contains: plastic surgery, porn with very little plot, rimming, top Law</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On his first consultation, Kid finds his surgeon is hot. It doesn't take a genius to see it, and Kid has eyes — he only needs a glance at the deep black eyes, the serious face, and the white coat-covered sprawl in the rolling chair across the desk. Not to mention the hint of haughtiness in the doctor's tone as he asks "What brings you here?", like it's proper patient protocol to ask but he too has eyes and can tell Kid's nose is completely fucked.</p><p>"Well my nose is completely fucked," Kid drawls, giving back as much condescension as he's getting, which makes the doctor — Trafalgar, Kid recalls from the online booking form — raise an eyebrow.</p><p>The haughtiness gains a tinge of incredulity once the doctor has put a plastic glove on and is touch-examining his nose directly.</p><p>"How many times have you broken it, exactly?"</p><p>"Couple times," Kid shrugs, "but obviously that last time was the bigger problem. They did their thing in the ER but they said I'd need a plastic surgeon as soon as it swelled down if I didn't want to develop breathing problems." Like he wouldn't have bothered to get his nose back in the centre of his face otherwise.</p><p>"Bar fight?", the doctor asks, which makes Kid feel like he's being stereotyped, but is also accurate, so he simply shrugs again.</p><p>"Right," the doctor leans back and throws the glove in the bin beside the desk before standing up to sit himself back on the other side, "If you decide to go with us for the surgery, I'm going to have to examine the imaging before I establish a surgery plan and discuss it with you to be sure, so that's going to mean two pre-op visits, excluding this consultation. After that, two post-op visits as usual. Do you know what final result you're after?"</p><p>"Just like... normal?" Kid snarls a bit more, uncomfortable.</p><p>"If you'd simply like it to look like it was before your incident, pictures would be helpful."</p><p>"I have... selfies?" Kid says, to which the doctor simply beckons with his hand, so Kid feels compelled to unlock his phone and hand it over, displaying the oldest photo in his front camera gallery.</p><p>"Ah, lovely," the doctor says, using two fingers to zoom into the picture, which Kid finds is a weird compliment but somehow still makes him preen, "Wide nasal bones, straight tip... I could reconstruct that exactly with internal incisions, which would mean no visible scars, possibly introduce a curve depending on what type of profile view you're after..."</p><p>"Yeah doc, I don't know about all of that," Kid cuts in, "I took this consultation just to figure out what's cheaper because my social security office just gave me this big chart full of numbers and told me to fuck off. Can you just tell me how much would be covered and how much I'd have to pay? For like, a regular nose, no add-ons."</p><p>"Don't worry about that," the doctor waves him off, going back to examine the picture, "I'll give you the paperwork you need and tell you how to fill it out to get everything filed under reconstructive, which this clearly is."</p><p>"Wait, for real? Does that mean - wait, no, don't scroll --"</p><p>Too late. Kid can tell from Doctor Trafalgar's sudden eyebrow raise that he's landed on one of Kid's specially-for-Grindr pics. Kid hopes it's not one where he has his cock out, but also who raised this animal, scrolling through people's camera rolls.</p><p>If the doctor's embarrassed he manages to hide it. He simply puts the phone back face down on the desk and slides it over to Kid. Kid quickly puts it back in his pocket, but leans back in his chair more casually, ankle above knee, so as not to look like the intimidated one.</p><p>"Yes, the entire operation would be covered by social security. I'm also supposed to tell you about the risks of complications here, but you don't seem very interested in the in-and-outs. Would you like more time to think about it and consult other surgeons, or should we book your first pre-op appointment now?" Trafalgar slowly leans back into his chair, matching Kid's posture of detachment. "If you're willing to trust me, I think I would do a very beautiful job," he finishes, making it sound like he would indeed be very excited to cut up Kid's face.</p><p>Kid feels again compelled to say yes.</p><p>On the subway home he takes his phone out again and confirms that Doctor Trafalgar had indeed landed on a nude.</p><p>On his second appointment, the predatory aura Kid wasn't sure he'd imagined is undeniable, a current travelling straight through their crossed gazes which Kid refuses to back away from, all the while Trafalgar calmly proceeds with the imaging and explanations for pre-op care, something Kid suspects is usually handled by nurses.</p><p>On his third appointment, Trafalgar's hands are all over his face, without gloves this time, as he explains to Kid the details of the operation in excruciating detail. Kid narrowly resists biting his fingers off and bending him over the desk by the neck, and Trafalgar smirks as if he knows this the whole time.</p><p>The day before the surgery, Kid finds Trafalgar on Grindr. He doesn't send a message.</p><p>After the operation, Kid is too fucked up on pain meds to really reflect on the fact he's going to wear Trafalgar's work on his face for the rest of his life, or the vulnerability he'd felt laid out on the operating table in surgical scrubs, watching the doctor getting ready to administer the anaesthesia.</p><p>It does come back to him once he's back on a chair in a corner of Trafalgar's surgery a couple late afternoons later, the doctor's long fingers once again in his face, slowly peeling the surgical tape holding the splint away. "Beautiful," he smiles into Kid's eyes, the pad of one finger grazing the bridge of Kid's nose as if he hadn't managed to help himself.</p><p>Kid looks into the hand mirror Trafalgar holds up to him. The bruises are brown and blue, blooming all the way to his eye sockets, and he's looked better after having his head bashed into a table, but he thinks he recognizes his nose.</p><p>"Yeah. Thanks," he says, feeling like that's maybe what he ought to say, like when the hairdresser is done with his hair.</p><p>Trafalgar unsettlingly smiles more. "As discussed, the bruising should fade within the next couple weeks. All that remains is one last appointment a month or so from now to make sure everything has settled in nicely and there are no complications."</p><p>"And you said no scarring?"</p><p>"No scarring," Trafalgar simply says with one telling glance towards his drawer of scalpels and a twitch of his fingers, before his eyes are back on Kid's face.</p><p>"And were you eyefucking me like that the whole time I was on your operating table or is that just for your conscious patients with their whole skin on?" Kid can't resist throwing at him.</p><p>Trafalgar's smile freezes into place. "Unfortunately, I'm your doctor. So if you're hoping for something to happen here, it's going to have to come from you, and it's going to have to be very, very explicit."</p><p>Kid knows he could give the doctor permission to use the personal number in his file here, or he could go home and find him on Grindr again. Or go home and never talk to him again. But because it's the end of the day, and he's noticed no one was at the front desk today, and he'd kind of expected all of this and cleaned himself up before coming, what he does is take the doctor's hand in his, lift it to his face, and suck the middle finger into his mouth.</p><p>Trafalgar's breath hitches. Kid savours it. He sucks the full length of the finger in once, draws back to the tip, and opens his mouth to wrap his tongue around the fingertip, keeping his eyes locked with Trafalgar. Angling his head with each swipe of his tongue, Trafalgar's hand held firmly in his own by the pulse points, taunting gaze under his hooded eyelids, he feels Trafalgar's restraint snapping thread by thread.</p><p>When he starts sucking again the restraint severs entirely. Trafalgar's hand is pulled out of his and both his hands grasp Kid's face tightly like he'd wanted to do this for weeks, before Trafalgar's tongue is forcibly inserted into Kid's mouth. Kid moans into it, lowering his eyelids even more, and takes every push of Trafalgar's tongue into his mouth. He lets himself be consumed until his head is lolling over the seat back, only held in place by the two hands on both sides of it, saliva dripping on both sides, and Trafalgar is in his lap kissing him like he could fuck his mouth with his face. He thinks he could pass out from this.</p><p>Trafalgar lets up and kisses Kid's swollen lips. "I wanna eat your ass," he mutters against Kid's mouth.</p><p>Once more, Kid can only say yes.</p><p>"Bend over the operating table," Trafalgar says, raising himself up from Kid's lap.</p><p>Kid snorts but rises in turn to head over to the table. "If this is a thing you do and there's a camera somewhere I better get a cut." But he undoes his trousers and pushes them down to his ankles, and bends over on his elbows as told.</p><p>Trafalgar approaches him slowly, caressing his ass like he has to touch it first. He slides Kid's shirt up to his upper chest, exposing all of his back, and starts kissing down his spine with swipes of his tongue. Kid can feel him behind him, fully dressed, the stiff chino of his trousers grazing his bare thighs, and wants to whimper at how aroused he feels. The mouth he feels trailing wetness on his back goes lower and lower until it stops at his cheeks.</p><p>Trafalgar's hands spread him open and Kid feels him rub his facial hair on the inside of his cheeks, and his hot breath near his hole. He manages to breathe through the anticipation, until he feels Trafalgar's tongue flat on his hole and he's lost. A couple wet swipes and he's moaning, his forehead flat on the table between his elbows, his cock insanely hard, his ass high in the air pushing in Trafalgar's face. And Trafalgar gives him everything, gripping him as tight as he can and fucking his hole with his tongue in earnest, moaning into it himself like there's nothing in the world he loves more than this. Considering the way he asked for this it's probably the case, and Kid can imagine his face as he's doing it, eyes closed, lovingly kissing Kid's hole in between thrusts of his tongue.</p><p>He does seem to reach a limit though because he's suddenly pressed over Kid on the table, still dressed against Kid's bare legs, and he pants into Kid's ear, "Need to fuck you."</p><p>The only coherent words Kid can breathe out are, "Yeah. Condom."</p><p>Trafalgar kisses his ear and pulls back again, and Kid hears him fumble around and the sound of the condom packet being ripped open. Kid turns around to watch him open his trousers with one hand and pull out his cock, sliding the condom on with the other. He's still got all his clothes and his white coat on, and he's going to fuck Kid like that, on his operating table.</p><p>"It's lubed," Trafalgar says, and pressing his cock against Kid's hole, slowly pushes in.</p><p>Kid arches his neck, the rest of him still propped on his elbows, and moans the entire push in. Trafalgar pulls out and back in just as slowly, letting Kid get used to it, and when he feels Kid unclench, picks up the pace. Kid can feel everything — the grip as firm as ever on his hips, the cock fucking in and out of him, the button of Trafalgar's open trousers slapping into his skin with every thrust. It's so, so much. Trafalgar keeps going faster and harder, and Kid's moans are just exclamations pushed out of him with every thrust.</p><p>Trafalgar comes soon, moaning almost as much as Kid, hips stuttering to a slow grind deep inside Kid's ass. He keeps his cock there while he reaches around to Kid's own and pumps him fast, making Kid come in a burst of orgasm, shooting his cum all over the table and the floor. Kid thinks he sees actual stars.</p><p>"I'm not cleaning that," he pants out, once he's more or less got his breath back.</p><p>"I doubt you're trained in proper sanitation protocol anyway," Trafalgar says, putting his trousers back on. He sounds casual, but he also goes over to Kid to pull his own trousers back up, fastening the button with his long fingers, before he gives Kid one last tender little kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Kid spends his last appointment in his own bed, Trafalgar Law naked and tattooed beside him, his hands and lips all over his face, telling him how beautiful he looks with his own hands' work on him.</p><p>Whatever, he's into it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This isn't what I said it would be but when the inspiration for porn strikes... Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5. Post-divorce (platonic)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kid and Law got married and divorced young, but at the end of the day — they're doing all right</p><p>Contains: modern AU, divorced, platonic</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Law arrived at Kid's door around 10PM. The first thing he heard over the loud garage rock music was the sound of a beer bottle shattering on the floor, followed by a cry of "Ayyy, the ex is here!"</p><p>He didn't even know the name of the guy who'd opened the door for him — probably a recent addition to Kid's friend group — but the apartment was otherwise packed with people he'd gotten to know over the years, Kid's usual circle. He ignored all of them to hone in on the massive table set up in the living area — holding a sprawling game of Dungeons and Dragons, a million beers, and, of all things, a hammer — and the beat-up leather couch next to it — holding a laid-out Killer with a very swollen ankle, and, of all people, Shachi.</p><p>"Don't look at me like that, man, none of our friends play DnD. I'm sick of Catan," Shachi looked sheepish but shrugged. "Also they've got good beer."</p><p>Kid finally made himself known at that, drunkenly cracking up behind Law. "You hear that? I got the kids in the break-up," he laughed, slapping Law on the shoulder. "Thanks for coming, man, we didn't want to go to the ER for that."</p><p>Law turned his attention back to Killer on the couch.</p><p>"Do I want to know?"</p><p>"No," said Killer, at the same time as Wire from across the room yelled over the music, "Yeah, he got mad he rolled a leg paralysis after a goblin with a warhammer attacked his character, so he tried to prove to us that hammers don't hurt that much in real life!" Kid laughed some more.</p><p>"I'm guessing alcohol was involved," Law sighed, turning to Kid. "You know that if you poison your last two braincells they won't regenerate?"</p><p>"Hey, fuck you," Kid replied over the several groans of <i>Here they fucking go</i>, "First of all, Killer has more braincells than the rest of us combined" — Law snorted at that — "Second of all I don't remember asking to be bitched at or I would've called my mum instead."</p><p>"Kind of like how I paid for half that couch but don't remember you ever paying me back?"</p><p>"I'll lie down on the floor if you'll stop bickering," Killer cut in, "Fuck, I'll lie down on the broken glass over there." Shachi, the only one in the room still watching their little scene, snickered. Killer did look like whatever he'd been drinking was mostly manifesting as a raging headache now, so Law took pity.</p><p>"No, stay on the couch and raise your leg. It just looks like a sprain to me. Kid, get me ice."</p><p>He knelt to examine Killer's leg up close while Kid went to the freezer. Swollen like hell, but with ice and elevation it would go down soon enough. Maybe a makeshift wrap?</p><p>He felt Killer's eyes on him. "What," Law asked.</p><p>"I wanted to call the reindeer instead but Kid said you guys didn't hate each other anymore. I'm thinking maybe he was a bit too optimistic."</p><p>"Oh no," Shachi cut in, "Law's personality is just like that. It's how he shows love. Remember when he married Kid and stabbed him the same night?"</p><p>"Party of the century, that was," Killer agreed. Law didn't bother correcting Shachi that he'd only <i>slightly grazed</i> Kid with a broken beer bottle in a fit of pique, because it had indeed been a legendary party. Strawhat still talked about it.</p><p>Law didn't think he'd ever get over the humiliation of marrying young knowing everyone judged you for it, and proving them right just a couple years later. But Kid made it easier, he reflected, watching him make his way back from the fridge with towel-wrapped ice cubes in one hand and a rum-and-coke — Law's drink of choice — in the other. Another ex would've ripped Law's life apart but here he was, having dated 2 years, married for 2, divorced for 2, and not worse off than any other 28-year-old he knew.</p><p>He accepted the drink from Kid. "Heard you and Baby were hanging out again?"</p><p>"That a problem?" Kid answered, slightly self-conscious.</p><p>"Nah, it's not like she knows anyone else who likes guns and motorcycles. And you can make sure she doesn't fall for another weirdo at the garage." Not that Law had made much better decisions than his sister on that front.</p><p>"Hah, yeah, listen, the other day this old man -- fuck, who invited her??"</p><p>"Heard the nerds were having a partyyyyyy!" Bonney shouted from the doorway.</p><p>"Honestly this was just our regular DnD evening until Heat insisted we try his home-brewed beer," Killer moaned, attempting to put his legs back on the floor to go and greet her. Law shoved him back on the couch.</p><p>Bonney noticed him and made her way over. "Is that what fucked up your leg?"</p><p>"Indirectly," Killer replied. </p><p>"Please tell me you also have normal beer. And food," she directed to Kid.</p><p>"Yeah we're done with the elixir of death," Kid replied while directing her towards their usual assortment of hipster beer. Bonney started whispering furiously as she followed him, evidently about Law, while Kid only gave her a big shrug.</p><p>Law sighed and sat himself on the arm of the couch next to Shachi. </p><p>"Hey it's clearly a party now," Shachi said. "Should I call the guys?"</p><p>"Whatever," Law said, thinking he'd like to see Bepo attempt to bear-hug any of Kid's friends again. </p><p>"Sure, act like you fucking live here. Again," Killer grunted some more from his end of the couch. Law put the towel of ice cubes that had slid off the couch back on his leg.</p><p>In the end it wasn't Penguin or Bepo who barged in first when the door opened again with a bang not twenty minutes later.</p><p>"HEARD THERE WAS A PARTYYYYYY," yelled out Strawhat followed by pretty much all his friends. Law still wasn't sure if they all lived together or what.</p><p>"Fuck's sake," he groaned.</p><p>"Traffy!! You're here!! Are you guys getting married again??" </p><p>"NO," he yelled out, at the same time as Kid from across the room. Shachi and Killer went into hysterics.</p><p>"Aww, but the party was so fun," Strawhat pouted for all of two seconds before he spotted Bonney and went to wrestle her for the bag of chips.</p><p>Law figured he'd rather talk to Robin about his recent breakthrough in his genealogy research than get roped into Strawhat and Bonney's weird drinking games again, so he grabbed a beer that looked on the lighter end to bring her. She smiled at him like she was pleasantly surprised to see him there, and he shrugged helplessly. </p><p>Honestly, he thought, surrounded by the chaos of Kid's friends fist-bumping Zoro for the bottles of vodka he'd brought, Chopper squeaking at the sight of Killer and running to him with ace wraps already in his hands, Nami loudly criticizing the music to him and Robin, Shachi nerding out with Kid and Killer over Franky's pictures of his new gunpla — he was pretty happy to be here.</p><p> </p><p>Some time around 4am, Law found himself again on the leather couch that Killer had vacated to do fuck-knows-what outside, the music finally turned down after the neighbours complained, a beer he didn't normally drink in hand, and a happily buzzed Kid on the other end.</p><p>Kid leaned his head back to lay it over the back of the couch, and then to the side in Law's direction.</p><p>"Law?" he called.</p><p>"Mmh?"</p><p>"We're good, yeah?"</p><p>He was smiling at Law, that smile that would probably always warm Law inside to some degree. Law couldn't help but smile back.</p><p>"Yeah. We're good."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! I like the idea that they get back together twenty years later in this verse, which I prob won't write but might at least do a tumblr post about it, I'll link it here when I do<br/>edit: here it is https://soultronica.tumblr.com/post/642757271012753408/so-i-wrote-a-ficlet-about-my</p><p>And the last little ficlet was going to be youkai AU but i'm having trouble with it so who knows</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 6. Yokai AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Law works in a conbini in the bay of Tokyo and Kid is the yokai haunting him who keeps dropping cryptic hints</p><p>Contains: supernatural, Japan setting, loose folk mythology, light angst</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's 00:08 on Law's cheap Casio wristwatch when he sees the ghost again out of the corner of his eye. He's stocking onigiri in neat rows on refrigerated shelves, the white lights of the conbini glaring like an island of daylight in the middle of the quiet Tokyo night, and the ghost seems to be watching him like always.</p><p>A customer comes in, setting off the automatic doors, the mechanical double-chime of the entrance, and Monet's cheerful sing-song call of "Welcome in!" from her register station. All things that only register as background noise by now. A moment later the whirr of the automatic doors and the double chime sound again, and the customer dematerialises back into the black world outside. Monet checks over the fried foods in the heated display case next to her register, then heads for the back.</p><p>Law finds he's alone on the bright shop floor, so he addresses the ghost, keeping his eyes on the onigiri.</p><p>"I saw you last night," he says.</p><p>He can hear the grin in the ghost's voice as he replies. "Yeah, we talked, remember? You told me to fuck off as you usually do."</p><p>"No. After." No point in bringing up how that didn't seem to stop him haunting Law like always, and anyways, Law's curiosity is finally somewhat piqued. "I was on the roof, watching the bay. Around 5am. I saw you."</p><p>The ghost doesn't reply so Law turns to look at him. He's leaning casually against the fridges a few feet away from Law, a grin on his face. So casual and real that Law has to remind himself once more that he's the only one who can see it, as he's learned from experience.</p><p>It's why he's taken to referring to him as a ghost, though in truth - ghost, yokai, divinity, whatever, he's never been sure, and the other always evaded his questions. The death-white skin and blood-red hair certainly looked like a ghost's, though not the clothing - not a funerary kimono but gaudy pants and a fur coat. Maybe he hadn't had funeral rites.</p><p>"Did you kill him?" Law asks.</p><p>The ghost's grin widens. "What do you think?"</p><p>Law sighs and bends over to check that the colourful drinks in plastic bottles on the bottom shelves are still in FIFO order. Riddles again. "I think that I'm supposed to be the only one who can see you, but last night I was looking at the sea and you were floating over the bay and then you burst into flames. And a drunk salaryman saw you and walked towards you until he fell over the pier. He never surfaced and you laughed."</p><p>The ghost still doesn't reply so Law sighs some more and continues. "Is that what you are, a shinigami? A god of death? You're haunting me until you can take me to the afterlife?"</p><p>Law's eyes are back on the other's grinning face at this but it doesn't waver. "Nah," he says. "Good guess, though. Sharp," he adds somewhat wistfully, as he's wont to do. Then melts into the white halogen-lit air as he's also wont to do.</p><p>Law picks up the empty restock carton to fold it and heads for the back.</p><p> </p><p>The ghost reappears again at 5am, at the end of Law's shift. Law's changed out of his striped uniform and into his hoodie, a smuggled can of beer taken directly from the fridges in the large pocket. He knows his end-of-shift treats disappear in the conbini's stock adjustment margin of error.</p><p>The back door opens straight into the pier. Law takes a deep breath of the sea air, the sound of the bay, the wind on his face. The intermittent vehicles on the road on the other side of the conbini - mostly taxis at this hour. The entire avenue is on a strip of reclaimed land, and though Law knows it's not possible, he swears he can feel the water that used to be there below his feet.</p><p>The ghost watches him, but Law ignores him. It's been a couple months now since Law first saw him, and though he still hasn't said anything about why he was haunting Law in particular, he's been appearing more often lately - almost every day now.</p><p>There's a shitty seafood restaurant on top of the conbini, with an outside staircase leading up to it, and on the other side, smaller service stairs. They lead to a heavy door that Law has found was always unlocked in the early morning for deliveries, and past that, another staircase to the roof.</p><p>On top of the roof, it always tastes like freedom. The world is blue at this hour, the sea stretching out of the bay and into the sky. Both gradually lightening but still night, darker than the yellow office building lights from the city across, and the haze of the conbini neons on the floor below. Law leans against the railing, facing the sea, and cracks open his beer can. From here he can see the exact spot near the pier where he saw the ghost burst into flames last night.</p><p>The ghost seems to notice, following his gaze, but does not care to comment. He joins Law on the railing, looking out into the bay.</p><p>"It's nice and quiet around here," he says.</p><p>"Most of the city is, except for a few districts." Law points vaguely behind him in the direction of Shinjuku and Roppongi. "They say big cities never sleep but in most places it's just the conbinis, and we had those in my hometown."</p><p>"Is that why you moved here? To Tokyo?"</p><p>"I guess. Wasn't going to stay in the mountains of Nagano forever."</p><p>"You wanted to be closer to the sea?"</p><p>Law frowns. "I guess?"</p><p>"A conbini on reclaimed land, in the bay of Tokyo. Pretty far from your dorm too. You take the train every day to do your night shifts here and drink beer while watching the sea."</p><p>Law attempts to turn the words in his mind, trying to see where the ghost is getting at. He can't.</p><p>"Yeah, I have no idea what that means. You're trying to give me an omen, is it?" He takes another sip from his beer. "I'm shit at deciphering cryptic stuff so you're just going to have to haunt me quietly."</p><p>"I'm not haunting you."</p><p>"Could've fooled me."</p><p>"I'm not even a ghost."</p><p>Law rolls his eyes. "Or a yokai, whatever." He'd never been good at the distinctions between folk creatures, his mom hadn't been one for stories.</p><p>He does notice that the other doesn't dispute this as he usually does.</p><p>"So you are a yokai?"</p><p>"My name's Kid," he says, like that's supposed to mean something to Law. It doesn't.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Eustass Kid," he adds.</p><p>Law raises his beer in his direction. "Cheers, Eustass-ya."</p><p>Kid seems to like that.</p><p> </p><p>He leaves Law alone for a while after that, though. Law supposes he failed whatever kind of test that was.</p><p>It's later in the year, though still on the roof, when Law sees him again. The rainy season has come and gone, and the days are almost at their longest — Law spends more and more time watching the sea so he can catch the sunrise. Some days the overcast skies go from night to grey, the new light semi-opaque behind the clouds. Today the sun rises like fire on the waves, pouring shining orange on every skyscraper window, every inch of water. It reminds Law of a yokai bursting into flames over the sea.</p><p>He turns his head and he's barely surprised to see the yokai in question standing next to him. It's a sight to be shared, after all.</p><p>"I finally looked you up, you know," Law says, swirling the end of his beer around in its can. He should probably start stealing something stronger than this weak Kirin. "There's like, lists of yokais online."</p><p>"Yeah?" the yokai - Eustass Kid, Law remembers - asks while Law fiddles with his phone to pull up the website again.</p><p>"Mmh, look — <i>ayakashi</i>," Law says, his phone screen turned to Kid. "Evil sea spirits who try to drown ships and sailors. Appear as flames sometimes."</p><p>Kid takes the phone and scrolls, humming to himself.</p><p>"... That's what you are, right?" Law asks.</p><p>"I mean yeah, I came to that conclusion too when someone called me that and I looked into it. It's not like anyone gets a manual explaining why you do the things you do."</p><p>"So like... You were just born with the compulsion to drown people? You didn't turn into this?"</p><p>Kid shrugs. "I sunk ships in my previous life too, 'cause I was a pirate and, y'know. There could only be one king. So I keep doing it."</p><p>He gives Law back his phone. Law ponders this, wondering how he wants to dig. "Previous life?"</p><p>"I was a human once. I was reincarnated."</p><p>"Is that so," Law says doubtfully.</p><p>"Humans reincarnate," Kid insists, "You can even reincarnate into another human."</p><p>Law squints into the sunrise. "How can someone both turn into another person and stay the same person at the same time? The premise is flawed."</p><p>"Hah, you'd say that. You know because of the memories. Even if you don't retain all of them like me you still carry them deep. And they compel you back to the people and things that always mattered." Kid leans over the railing, closing his eyes. "Like the sea."</p><p>Law laughs, finally understanding his cryptic implications. "So all this time you've been trying to say that because I like watching the sea I used to be a pirate like you?"</p><p>"I'm not saying anything, I'm saying you should listen to your instinctual urges and stuff because they might mean something. You know, fuck people. Get knuckle tattoos."</p><p>"Sure, I'll do that when I wanna get fired and join the yakuza," Law rolls his eyes.</p><p>"You never thought about doing anything else with your life?"</p><p>"Fuck else you want me to do, work at another conbini? Become a delivery driver?"</p><p>Kid shrugs again. "Ever thought about, I don't know? Medicine?"</p><p>Law frowns. "What?"</p><p>"I'm just saying. Sky's the limit," Kid says, waving over the railing at the day that promises to be so bright.</p><p>"Not really, these days you have to go to university for these things. For a long time. It's not just memorizing acupuncture points or whatever they did in your time."</p><p>"Well you're smart. You could do it."</p><p>"Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen in this life," Law snorts, turning back to the bay.</p><p>The sun is fully up by now. Kid doesn't reply, and his smile is lopsided when Law turns to look at him.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess not," he says, finally.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/1ece869cca7b7e4bdbb13186e9511bc0/79bb9b34603bfb21-f9/s640x960/969cd528c1462bfa01cac9aab6056e67428e2601.png">visual aid</a>
</p><p>And here we are, I'm stopping here for now, though I might add other ficlets if the inspiration strikes. </p><p>Just wanted to end by saying that I've wanted to write fanfic basically as long as I've been into fandom, which is something like fifteen years now, but never really managed it. I've got my brain under much better control now so I decided to give it another shot when I got back into One Piece this year, hence the list of small ficlets based on fun little prompts. Finishing something I've planned is very exciting in itself, even if it's short, but this was still a bit of a shot in the dark, so all this to say, I'm extremely, extremely thankful for the encouragement I've received. Everyone who's left a comment -- thank you so much! It really keeps people going.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 7. Suez Canal AU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kid gets his ship stuck in the Suez Canal, and the rest is history</p><p>Contains: Suez Canal/Ever Given AU, multimedia (with alt text), internet lingo, social media nemeses, explicit sex</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please note that this is a multimedia fic, it contains images. They have alt text for accessibility, but if you have the choice between reading on an e-reader (downloading epubs strips images) or a browser, I'd still recommend the latter.</p><p>Many thanks to Ossicle for letting me use some of his ideas :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kid's a chill guy when you think about it. He's prone to bursts of temper, sure, but he moves on quickly from them and he's not one to dwell on mistakes or make a mountain out of a molehill. Which is to say, he doesn't think he's being overdramatic when he says that he's definitely the most fucked person on the planet currently, or so he reflects as he contemplates the sight of his ship grounded in the fucking Suez canal.</p><p>Pretty much all of his crew are on deck now, even the off-shift sailors who hadn't taken part in his desperate maneuvers to rectify the situation after his chief officer Killer had woken him up to inform him they were caught in a sandstorm. At least no one is hurt, there is no structural damage to the ship and all the cargo is safely secured, so the maneuvers were a success.</p><p>Frankly, nothing about this situation feels like a success.</p><p>"Fuck, Captain," his nearest crew member tells him. "We are so getting drug-tested when we reach port."</p><p>At this point, the backlash to his crew's last evening activities — they'd taken on three newbies on this trip, which meant that the off-shift had to throw a party every time they passed a notable point — is the least of his concerns. The first of his concern would be to find the piece of shit Suez-appointed pilot who he'd left alone in charge while Kid had taken a power nap and was currently nowhere to be seen, the second would be to fucking murder him, and the third would be to have his corpse contact his chain of command within the canal authorities to get the tug boats deployed. What even was the protocol for this? Had it even happened before? Maybe not in modern times, but surely some poor shmuck had gotten stuck in the ancient Darius canal before him? Kid really doesn't want to make history like this.</p><p>Unfortunately, make history he does. It takes a full day of yelling and getting yelled at by both management and canal authorities until he's finally organized the tug boats (and one single excavator), while his crew are all apparently occupied with frantically googling the drug detection window for weed. By the end of it he's ready to murder someone for stress relief, when Killer informs him over dinner that they're already an internet sensation.</p><p>"You know the ship behind us in the convoy? Captain's posted a pic of us on his Instagram, look."</p><p>"WHAT," Kid yells while Killer pulls up the post on his phone. Sure enough, his ship is pictured, covered by what must be the ugliest filter in the gallery, and a caption that reads <i>The ship in front of us went and fucking ran aground?? What kind of wanker manages to do this. #suezcanal #worldsshittiestcaptain</i></p><p>Kid is immediately out of his chair with his phone in hand. "THIS ASSHOLE," he starts.</p><p>"Don't do anything stupid, Captain," Killer drawls.</p><p>"I'm not going to do anything stupid, I'm just going to tell him to GO FUCK HIMSELF."</p><p>Which he does, at length and enthusiastically, once he's located the guy's Instagram and found his way to his DMs. He's shut himself in his cabin so that no one can come and disturb his righteous fury powered by 24 hours of bloodlust, so he manages to run through most of the ways he knows to insult a person and their direct ancestors for a good twenty minutes before he runs out of steam. He actually feels better once he's done. Good.</p><p>He's about to tuck himself into bed, feeling like he might actually be able to sleep and face the next shitty day, when his phone pings. Huh. He hadn't expected the guy to respond, only to block him. Maybe he's penitent.</p><p>He's not.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kid takes a deep breath and prepares to fire his more creative insults.</p><p>They end up going all night, the asshole seemingly very keen on variations on the word "himbo" while Kid gets to rudely speculate on the number of things the other must've stuck up his ass -- which of course leads in turn to receiving interesting metaphors about being on expert in getting things stuck in narrow channels. Kid is losing inspiration and must be on his twelth "motherfucker" when the other finally stops responding. It's 4am and he's won.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, it doesn't last and the asshole captain DMs him again the next evening to send him a Twitter thread.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The next next day, Kid is still fuming about it.</p><p>"And THEN...! He said that I must've sucked off my instructor to get my captain stripes but at least it proved that I'm a better cocksucker than captain, like I'm not boss at cocksucking AND sailing--" he rants to Killer currently scrolling through their DM conversation on Kid's phone, in case he missed the good bits. The entire conversation did go on for a good 4 hours until Kid had finally gone to sleep at 3 in the morning, but it's not like he or anyone on this ship had anything better to do currently.</p><p>"Hmm," says Killer. "Did you see he's hot though?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You didn't click on his profile?"</p><p>"Like once but other than the picture of our ship it was just a bunch of videos of nerds doing Tiktok dances. Honestly the AUDACITY of a bitch who apparently NAE-NAES in his engine room to come talk to me about STEERING--"</p><p>"Should've scrolled more. Look."</p><p>Killer turns Kid's phone towards him again, stopped on the picture of a man in a captain's uniform, and. Yeah.</p><p>"Oh fuck," Kid says, scrabbling for his phone again. He leans his face into the screen until he nearly goes cross-eyed, like it's going to make the man in the picture look any less mean, dark and handsome. Why is he so weak for rude faces.</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Those tattoos definitely aren't uniform standard..."</p><p>"Yeah..."</p><p>"Are we sure it's him?" Kid rallies himself. "Caption just says 'Look at our captain' with a bunch of fire emojis. And a bear emoji?"</p><p>"It's gotta be him if he told you he was the captain? Looks like his crew mostly runs his Instagram for him but he still uses it for personal use."</p><p>"Like posting ugly-filtered pictures with bitchy comments," Kid winds himself up again.</p><p>"Is he hot enough to be allowed to be an asshole though?"</p><p>"..."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Fuck me, Killer, I think he is."</p><p> </p><p>The asshole captain puts that to the test that evening of course, by sending him another tweet.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kid groans and only half because he would indeed fancy a try of the dragon dildos. He can't resist clicking on the other's profile again — Trafalgar Law, Kid finally notes the name — and scrolling until more pictures of him come up. It seems the account is mostly run by the asshole's crew trying to turn him into some kind of celebrity captain, with many enthusiastically-captioned pictures of the captain casually smouldering, interspersed with equally frequent promos for the crew's TikTok. They're clearly a bunch of nerds but Kid's not going to lie to himself, if he'd had such a captain as a cadet he probably would've joined the simp squad as well. </p><p>It's pretty easy to tell which posts were made by the captain himself, as they all involve a terrible over-filtered picture and a bitchy complaint. A weak tag game also, in Kid's humble opinion. All in all it's a good thing his crew didn't let him post to his own account that often — and that they have such a good photographer among them, Kid reflects while admiring an old low-angled pictures where the captain's shirt is particularly open. </p><p>He admires it so long that he doesn't realize he's accidentally liked the picture until a good five minutes after the fact. Fuck. He scrambles to un-like it, and checks the posting date — 132 weeks ago. Fuck, has he been scrolling that far? Definitely stalker behaviour. Or at least help-I've-discovered-my-internet-nemesis-is-hot behaviour. Whatever, he un-liked it immediately and it's not like a guy with that many followers would have notifications turned on, there's no way he's noticed.</p><p>Kid goes back to his DMs to distract himself from how flustered he is. He's barely finished typing out a half-hearted <i>I'm not the one who badly needs a dick in his ass, good luck finding someone willing to do that for you</i> as a reply to Captain Bitch when his phone immediately pings again.</p><p>
  
</p><p>There's nothing Kid can do at this point except delete the app.</p><p> </p><p>Another day of yelling at both canal authorities and management manages to take his mind off losing against his new Instagram nemesis, but he's back to brooding that evening. His crew's frantic google searches have revealed that amphetamines had a drug detection window of only 48 hours and they still had a week until next port once they got out of the canal, so the off-duty shift had simply thrown out all their weed and resumed the party with the super-secret stash. Kid can hear the sound of We Didn't Start The Fire reverberating around the engine room from his cabin. Hell, Trafalgar can probably hear his entire crew screaming along <i>trouble in the Suez!</i> from his ship. Whatever, he's not thinking about the asshole.</p><p>Except he's captain of the ship so he can't party on duty, and he's deleted both Twitter and Instagram off his phone now. Out of desperation he opens Grindr thinking he can at least trade nudes with whoever else is stuck on this canal — maybe without telling them he's possibly slightly responsible. The first couple guys he talks to open with variations of <i>Can you believe some idiot got his ship stuck here?</i> so he blocks them immediately, but on the third — he lands on a familiar chest tattoo.</p><p>
  
</p><p>It takes five minutes for Kid to take a screenshot, re-install Instagram, and send it to Trafalgar with a triumphant <i>THIS U???</i></p><p>He's not sure what he expects in return, a penitent <i>yes I too am horny and desperate and I'm sorry for making fun of you for it</i> is probably too much to ask, but what he gets is… definitely not it.</p><p>He stares at it for a good ten minutes, mind short-circuiting trying to rearrange itself around the realization that he's probably interpreted their interaction up until now very, very wrong. But it's undeniable — Trafalgar just sent him a picture of himself from the neck down, wearing only a pair of boxers, and a flirty <i>I think so, the tattoos match?</i></p><p> </p><p>Law's personality never gets any better but Kid learns to enjoy it when he gets to fuck his tight little ass as part of the package. They don't get to meet much but they manage, in Amsterdam or Taiwan, or this cramped hotel room in Singapore.</p><p>He must've spent too long musing about said ass because Law is looking at him like he just said something that Kid completely ignored. Somehow he still manages to look sarcastic despite currently being as naked as Kid is, lounging back on his elbows with his legs open and his ass all lubed up.</p><p>"Sorry what was that?"</p><p>Law raises an eyebrow. "Do you need, like, a tutorial?"</p><p>"Shut up." Kid rallies, pushing Law's thigh to his chest and reaching for his own cock.</p><p>"Don't get it stuck now. Like you would a ship."</p><p>Kid groans. "Right, changed my mind. Turn around. Don't wanna see your smart mouth."</p><p>Law laughs as he obliges, getting on elbows and knees, head bowed, back arched and tattoo rippling along it, presenting his ass to Kid like the gift that it is. Kid groans for a different reason.</p><p>He moves to cover Law from behind, and gently pushes Law's body down with his own.</p><p>"Let's do it like this, yeah?" he says softly, placing his forearm under Law's neck, his entire body flush with Law, pinning him down against the bed. He lifts his hips to line his cock up with his other hand, and gently pushes in.</p><p>He fucks into Law's body with shallow thrusts, slowly at first, feeling Law happily melting under him, licking at the sweat on Law's nape.</p><p>"Love it like this," he whispers right to Law's ear. "Just you and me, just like this," he keeps going, feeling every single one of Law's keening hiccups of breath getting higher and higher. He's rutting into Law, the sweat of Law's back slippery under his chest, when Law moves to bite his forearm and his entire body shudders. Kid keeps fucking him until he comes deep inside his ass, feeling all kinds of perfect.</p><p>Honestly, Kid's chill. Getting his ship stuck in the Suez canal really wasn't the worst thing in the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feel free to follow me on tumblr: <a href="https://soultronica.tumblr.com">soultronica.tumblr.com</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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